For the Glory

I have found that in the past when we have dealt with struggles it is easy to go the "why me" route. We had a miscarriage with our first pregnancy and I about got lost in the bitterness that came from going that route. There was no direct sin or reason for us to lose that baby - it just happened because we live in a fallen world. No, those words don't help in the midst of the heartache and hurt. Honestly, for a while nothing really helped. I knew all the Scriptures, I believed all the Scriptures, but the hurt was too raw and too real at that moment to pull me out of my anger. Some of the anger came because I believe in God's power and sovereignty. I knew He could heal I just don't know why He did not. Those kinds of situations can really shake your faith. I struggled for months until finally God laid my options out clearly "you can let this bitterness continue to grow and destroy everything you have or you can trust Me in this and give it to Me and I will use this hurt in your life." That was my wake up call. The bitterness didn't help anybody or make that life lost any more valuable but God did. As I look back now I can see how God has kept His promise once again. No, He didn't heal that baby the way I wanted to see that baby healed but He did heal that baby. Then, He took the time to heal me and draw me closer to Him. I see how that stretched me to a point of breaking, but also how it grew me. I also see how He has used it in my life and in the lives of others, and for that I am thankful. I especially saw it when we heard about Addie. I was tempted to doubt again and start down the "why me", but God reminded me that He is my loving Father and He knows what is best. Since hearing about Addie we have been praying in a new way, a powerful way, and we are seeing God's hand move. It is awesome. But there is still the temptation to doubt so I have been studying healings in the New Testament of the Bible and today one hit me hard. John 9:1-12 tells the story of a man blind from birth that is in the path of Jesus and his disciples one day. The disciples speak out and ask Jesus if he was blind because of his sin or his parents’ sin. Jesus tells them "This happened so the power of God could be seen in Him." Then Jesus made mud, put it over his eyes, and sent the man to wash it off. After the man obeyed Jesus' instructions he could see for the first time in his life! The rest of the chapter goes on to tell how the blind man was drawn deeper and deeper into his faith through this and how he testified in front of the Pharisees who saw but didn't want to believe. This story hit me so hard because it summed up both of these experiences in my life. Direct sin didn't cause my miscarriage nor did it cause Addie's issues, but God is still God. In both of these situations He allows them for His glory. If I give these things into His hands He will use them to build His kingdom and that is my main goal in life. I want to see people come to know and love Jesus and to live in the freedom that He gives, but if I never struggle He never has a chance to shine. 2 Corinthians 12:9 tells us of God's response to Paul during a hardship “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." This is one of the main reasons I share this about Addie. I want everyone to see how faithful God is, and it is through this trial that He gets to shine. Look at the healing power we have already seen on her heart and also her arms! God has gone into the womb where she is being knit together and healed what only He can heal so that His name can be praised! So we will praise Him for what He has done and praise Him for what He is doing. God has healed Addie and He will heal her completely of this I do not doubt. Though the temptation is there at times I have seen God be too faithful to not trust Him in His healing power. I am choosing to praise and not doubt because my God is faithful! The other reason I share all this about Addie is because we want others to join us in praying for the full complete healing we are waiting on.  Matthew 18:19-20 says "Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” There is power in the prayers of the righteous. When we call out to Him together He hears and He answers! He is going to get even more glory through Addie and I am so thankful to be a part of it!